Saturday, October 22, 2011
I'm never getting married.
I was born into the stereotypical "perfect family". I had a mommy and a daddy who loved me very much and I was their precious only child. We had a nice big house and we lived in a nice town and everything was great. And then my parents got a divorce, like everyone else in this country. I was five years old when it all happened, and I didn't know that my life had changed completely. My dad left, and it was just me, my brand new twin brother and sister, and mom. We were raised by a single parent and a damn good one at that. Nowadays single parents are common, but a decade ago, nobody thought our family was normal. My mom was lucky enough to find a good paying job and managed to keep us afloat. Even though she was doing a great job people still thought it was weird that she wasn't married and that she put us in daycare instead of watching us herself. I think my parents divorcing made me stronger. Not to mention bitter and cynical about marriage. I realized that people aren't always going to be there and they could leave at anytime. I was really young when I decided that I wasn't getting married and I was going to be successful all by myself. By the time I got to high school, I was only focused on one thing and that was getting into college. I wanted to get a head start on being on my own and successful doing it. Graduation was a great day because that was the day that I got to start my new life. I wasn't labeled with being from a divorced family, I was just me and I planned on keeping it that way. I realized if my mom could get by on her own, I could too. I don't have to go through the getting married and divorcing step to figure that out. I guess I've always thought I didn't want to get married. I just realized that nothing lasts forever pretty early on in life.
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I can understand how that experience would make you feel a bit cynical about marriage. Marriage isn't for everyone, and there's no reason to get married if you don't want to. As a friend of mine once said, "100% of marriages end in either divorce or death." Some people also view it as more of a financial arrangement than a partnership for life. However, I honestly believe that sometimes, with some people, it just works. My parents are still happily married after 20 years. They would both be perfectly fine alone, they each have decent paying jobs, and are self-reliant enough to support themselves. My mom came from a broken home and she was more than prepared for her marriage to fall apart. But it never did. They honestly balance each other out, they keep each other company, they take turns cooking dinner. Sometimes, it works.
ReplyDeleteI used to think the same way about marriage, because of the way I grew up with my parents fighting constantly. It makes perfect sense that you don't want to go through that same thing. I'm scared of being in the same situation because as a child, it sucks having to deal with it. I was also very excited to get away after graduation, but I feel bad leaving my sister there to fend for herself when the fights start up again. We live in a society now that accepts divorce. That makes things easier, but I also feel like divorce is the way of giving up and not fighting for what you love (or used to love).
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